I think that I love you, I think that I do.
So go on Mister: make Miss Me, Mrs. You.
I love you, I love you, I love you, I do.
I only make jokes to distract myself from the truth.
What truth is that?
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Cookie Monster: A quick note of encouragement
(My dad told me this story he heard from a church speaker.) There was a young lady who was unmarried. All of her friends were already married, some had children, but this woman was not willing to settle. After a while, her boyfriend proposed to her. However, she refused him. "I love you with all my heart, but you are not in a place with the Lord to be my spiritual leader" she told him tearfully. With tears in his own eyes, the man replied, "Give me one year. I will follow hard after the Lord and work to be the kind of leader you need. But, if after that time, if I'm still not in a place to lead you, we can part ways, and I will understand." After that, the man started going to a different church, lest he be tempted to fake spirituality in front of her, and began to strengthen his relationship with the Lord. In the end, the young lady accepted his proposal and married him at 28 years of age.
The few people I've told that story to have had similar reactions. They all teared up and with glowing, hopeful faces asked, "Is there someone out there like that for me?" Now, I am certainly no expert in the confusing realm of dating. I do not necessarily agree with the highly popular method of courtship, though I do find value in some of the methods, nor do I think you have "to kiss a lot of frogs". But, even a novice like me has observed a few things in my admittedly young quest to find "him whom my soul loves" (Song of Solomon 3:4).
"Faith in God includes faith in His timing." (-Neal Maxwell) I freely admit that whatever virtue I have does not include patience. I get antsy when meetings run a few minutes over and I huff at the mailbox when the letter I'm expecting hasn't arrived. One thing that has always tried my patience is the lack of a beau. Guess who never got a homecoming mum in high school? Me. Guess who never got flowers on Valentine's Day? Me. Guess who did not go to college and find boys lining up around the block only to be eclipsed by my shadow? That would be me. True, all these things are rather inconsequential and I don't lay awake nights fretting over them, but they do point toward something deeper: I'm not good/pretty/smart enough. Funnily enough, I constantly worry I'm not 'Christian' enough. Really, how can I expect to attract the kind of Christian man I want when I forget to do my quiet time or say a harsh word about someone? There's too much competition in that area and those girls seem waaaay more godly than me...but I digress. (I feel that merits a post of its own. More later!) At any rate, it seems a lot of my prayers consist of pleas for God to hurry His plan up.
"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." Song of Solomon 2:7 If I were to sit back and reiterate to you how many times the Lord has saved me, I would never be able to finish. In the midst of my desire I constantly forget that the Lord has a plan that is perfect, and that my plans tend to blow up spectacularly. Do I have any reason to doubt the Lord? Of course not, but I think most readers would agree they've had this problem. They feel like the Lord has forgotten them or is withholding something from them. They look at other people's happiness with envious eyes. Dear friends, that is fruitless. All that type of thinking does is mire you in a slough of despond and turn you away from the path of righteousness. Think about it this way: would you rather have a cookie now? What if I told you that, with a little patience, you could not only have a cookie, but a cookie bouquet, complete with balloons and a gallon of milk? Many of us tend to fall into this trap of instant gratification, myself included.
Be encouraged. You are not alone in your quest. Though you may feel like nothing is even going to happen, it will when the time is right. After all "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father." (Matthew 10:29). The Lord knows the desires of your heart, perhaps you should simply sit quietly...and wait. I think will take my own advice, because I like the idea of many cookies much more than just one.
The few people I've told that story to have had similar reactions. They all teared up and with glowing, hopeful faces asked, "Is there someone out there like that for me?" Now, I am certainly no expert in the confusing realm of dating. I do not necessarily agree with the highly popular method of courtship, though I do find value in some of the methods, nor do I think you have "to kiss a lot of frogs". But, even a novice like me has observed a few things in my admittedly young quest to find "him whom my soul loves" (Song of Solomon 3:4).
"Faith in God includes faith in His timing." (-Neal Maxwell) I freely admit that whatever virtue I have does not include patience. I get antsy when meetings run a few minutes over and I huff at the mailbox when the letter I'm expecting hasn't arrived. One thing that has always tried my patience is the lack of a beau. Guess who never got a homecoming mum in high school? Me. Guess who never got flowers on Valentine's Day? Me. Guess who did not go to college and find boys lining up around the block only to be eclipsed by my shadow? That would be me. True, all these things are rather inconsequential and I don't lay awake nights fretting over them, but they do point toward something deeper: I'm not good/pretty/smart enough. Funnily enough, I constantly worry I'm not 'Christian' enough. Really, how can I expect to attract the kind of Christian man I want when I forget to do my quiet time or say a harsh word about someone? There's too much competition in that area and those girls seem waaaay more godly than me...but I digress. (I feel that merits a post of its own. More later!) At any rate, it seems a lot of my prayers consist of pleas for God to hurry His plan up.
"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." Song of Solomon 2:7 If I were to sit back and reiterate to you how many times the Lord has saved me, I would never be able to finish. In the midst of my desire I constantly forget that the Lord has a plan that is perfect, and that my plans tend to blow up spectacularly. Do I have any reason to doubt the Lord? Of course not, but I think most readers would agree they've had this problem. They feel like the Lord has forgotten them or is withholding something from them. They look at other people's happiness with envious eyes. Dear friends, that is fruitless. All that type of thinking does is mire you in a slough of despond and turn you away from the path of righteousness. Think about it this way: would you rather have a cookie now? What if I told you that, with a little patience, you could not only have a cookie, but a cookie bouquet, complete with balloons and a gallon of milk? Many of us tend to fall into this trap of instant gratification, myself included.
Be encouraged. You are not alone in your quest. Though you may feel like nothing is even going to happen, it will when the time is right. After all "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father." (Matthew 10:29). The Lord knows the desires of your heart, perhaps you should simply sit quietly...and wait. I think will take my own advice, because I like the idea of many cookies much more than just one.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Helper, Keeper, Protecter, Preserver, Provider
You are my all, all the time
without rest
Yeshua, Yeshua
Yeshua, Yeshua
unto You be glory, glory
unto You be honor
unto You be praises Jesus
forever and ever
all i wanna do is exalt You
all i wanna do is to lift You high
all i wanna do is to please You
all i wanna do is to make You smile
You are my all, all the time
without rest
Yeshua, Yeshua
Yeshua, Yeshua
unto You be glory, glory
unto You be honor
unto You be praises Jesus
forever and ever
all i wanna do is exalt You
all i wanna do is to lift You high
all i wanna do is to please You
all i wanna do is to make You smile
Monday, August 8, 2011
I don't borrow from its sunshine, for its skies may turn to grey.
The thought began to dawn on me that I was going to graduate soon and the little bubble I currently live in would burst. As a result, I've been budgeting for the past year, vacillating between being a complete miser and behaving like a hip hop mogul "up in da club". Over the past couple of months, I've become increasingly concerned about the number in my bank account. To make matters worse, we've all been watching America basically cover the moon in yogurt and elected officials squabble like a bunch of ill-tempered hens. (While those charlatan turkeys up on the Hill flap their gums, it becomes the citizen's responsibility to be extra careful to make up for the irresponsibility of the state. But I digress.)
I've gotten into the habit of checking my bank account online and I recently opened up a mint.com account which allows me to track my expenditures and project my budget over a more long term scale. This has all been wonderful, except for the fact that I've started to worry. Every time I go out with my friends I think of my pennies dwindling or wake up in a cold sweat, convinced that the government is going to come grubbing after the few refund checks I've gotten from A&M. What is this madness? Well, I figured it out: I'm hearing money talking. With economic uncertainty swirling as I walk the tightrope of a college budget, I've begun to feel a little panicky.
"He has told you, O Man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8
"Aw, how nice." I thought to myself, "That's a verse that would look good on a sign!" I wrapped up my quiet time and went on my merry way. This verse wasn't thought about again until yesterday when I got an email from Student Billing Services demanding requesting my fall tuition payment. I worked myself up into a tizzy and hunched over the computer crunching numbers and silently bidding adieu to a pair of square cat eye sunglasses I had decided to save up for and give myself for Christmas. After I sufficiently wore myself out, I sat back for a quiet minute and remembered that verse. I also thought about Habakkuk: "Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no fruit, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will take joy in the God of my salvation." (3:17-18) Basically, "the righteous shall live by his faith." (2:4) Even if the economy implodes, even if I graduate and am thrust into a dismal job market, even if I have to do without: it doesn't matter because God will provide. (Note: I recognize that my worries are vastly different from millions of people on Earth. I am blessed beyond belief, and I am immensely thankful that I don't have to worry whether or not I will be able to eat. I wouldn't tell someone who is mired in poverty "God will provide!" and bebop away. But that is a whole other blog post...)
How can I be sure of this? How can I be certain that God will make good on His promise? I can be sure because He already has. He showed me yesterday that He takes care of me. I can think of many times, great and small, where God has pulled me through. He's pointed me in different directions, and they've always been better than whatever I could cook up. He's told me to wait and given me things at a time when I was much better prepared for them. I must look back and remember yesterday's provision. When you remember yesterday's provision, you have hope, and this hope is never foolish. "Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off." (Proverbs 23:18)
Like that old song says, "I don't worry about tomorrow, for I know who holds my hand." Even if the country I love careens towards fiscal and social destruction, I still have hope. I don't live by those worldly standards, I live by my faith. I know God has provided before. Should I have any reason to doubt He will provide again?
Monday, July 25, 2011
Monday, July 4, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
In the meantime, I'll be patient.
"I'll be seeing you
In every lovely summer's day;In every thing that's light and gay. I'll always think of you that way."
Lord, may I please have the above someday?
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