I've gotten into the habit of checking my bank account online and I recently opened up a mint.com account which allows me to track my expenditures and project my budget over a more long term scale. This has all been wonderful, except for the fact that I've started to worry. Every time I go out with my friends I think of my pennies dwindling or wake up in a cold sweat, convinced that the government is going to come grubbing after the few refund checks I've gotten from A&M. What is this madness? Well, I figured it out: I'm hearing money talking. With economic uncertainty swirling as I walk the tightrope of a college budget, I've begun to feel a little panicky.
"He has told you, O Man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8
"Aw, how nice." I thought to myself, "That's a verse that would look good on a sign!" I wrapped up my quiet time and went on my merry way. This verse wasn't thought about again until yesterday when I got an email from Student Billing Services demanding requesting my fall tuition payment. I worked myself up into a tizzy and hunched over the computer crunching numbers and silently bidding adieu to a pair of square cat eye sunglasses I had decided to save up for and give myself for Christmas. After I sufficiently wore myself out, I sat back for a quiet minute and remembered that verse. I also thought about Habakkuk: "Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no fruit, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will take joy in the God of my salvation." (3:17-18) Basically, "the righteous shall live by his faith." (2:4) Even if the economy implodes, even if I graduate and am thrust into a dismal job market, even if I have to do without: it doesn't matter because God will provide. (Note: I recognize that my worries are vastly different from millions of people on Earth. I am blessed beyond belief, and I am immensely thankful that I don't have to worry whether or not I will be able to eat. I wouldn't tell someone who is mired in poverty "God will provide!" and bebop away. But that is a whole other blog post...)
How can I be sure of this? How can I be certain that God will make good on His promise? I can be sure because He already has. He showed me yesterday that He takes care of me. I can think of many times, great and small, where God has pulled me through. He's pointed me in different directions, and they've always been better than whatever I could cook up. He's told me to wait and given me things at a time when I was much better prepared for them. I must look back and remember yesterday's provision. When you remember yesterday's provision, you have hope, and this hope is never foolish. "Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off." (Proverbs 23:18)
Like that old song says, "I don't worry about tomorrow, for I know who holds my hand." Even if the country I love careens towards fiscal and social destruction, I still have hope. I don't live by those worldly standards, I live by my faith. I know God has provided before. Should I have any reason to doubt He will provide again?
