Alright Father. I'm going to be real. I've been hanging on to this ache. I keep it, I nurture it, I treasure it. This is completely and utterly...WRONG. I pick it up, because I think You won't relieve me of it. I clutch it to my chest because in some weird way it validates me. I can't do it anymore. You've brought me to the precipice and I can linger no longer. I trust You. I trust You. I trust You. No matter where I look, I can feel you tugging on my heart. No matter how much I question, all I can hear is Your quietness. "But I said, 'I have labored in vain; I have spent all my strength for nothing at all. Yet what is due me is in the Lord's hand, and my reward is with my God.'" Isaiah 49:4 I'm done with this toil, this vain struggle. I trust that my reward is with You and You alone: not in men.
I've prayed for You to free me of my burden and save me from my pain. Even if You don't, consume me. I want to go deeper with You.
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