To: B Love, N

when pain turns to years
it goes away
a memory far gone
so bitter sweet
and sweet it is to taste recover
the loss of my friend

and why haunts this hunger
to love him
my ship set its sail
a long time ago
and my mind has said its farewell
and my lips have declared "it's time"
but my heart cannot say its goodbye

now it's only in my dreams
that i've been there
his eyes so in love
his kiss so real
now if only i could stay
and dream a while
if a dream lasts a lifetime

my ship's set its sail
but still at shore
my heart cannot say its goodbye

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Patience is not my strong suit. Lately, it's been giving me more fits than usual. I want. to. make. something. HAPPEN. However, I know that if I try to force something, it will disintegrate into disaster, most likely an embarrassing disaster. Therefore, I will wait, but like this: D:<  (Translation: BAH.) 

HURRY UP ALREADY!!!

I remembered why I like Christian hardcore.

Deliverer, You brought us out of the miry clay 

You set our feet upon a rock and You made us say 

Holy is the Lord 

We would declare Your thoughts about us one by one 

It'd be too many to count so we simply come 

And sing of Your great love 

So we sing..We lift our hands and sing! 

You are worthy of affection 

You're the radiance of all of His glory 

Let adoration fill this place 

You hold everything together 

By the word of your immovable power 

We sing a song of praise! 

We are the broken down and we are the beaten up 

But what could stop us from a song of unending love? 

Holy is the Lord 

You are a treasure, the hope, the bright and morning star 

You are the lover of our soul and You've won our hearts 

We sing of Your great love 

So we sing...

Holy, are You Lord

"Day is done, gone the sun


From the lakes, from the hills, from the skies


All is well, safely rest;



God is nigh."

It's your eyes that make me smile, oh yeah, oh yeah.

"You are the sun,
You are the only one,
You are so cool,
You are so rock and roll."


Today felt like spring. It was one of those days where being inside a structure felt stale, so I went outside. I felt the sun on my face and the sweat roll down my back as I ran. I thought about many different things, but I mostly thought about Taylor. I think of him quite often; I have ever since I met him. I thought about how much of a difference one year makes. I thought about how much one person could impact another. I thought about love. I thought about God and His plan. One day, I will be able to articulate all this much better. For right now, I will continue to think about someone I loved very much, and run under the sunshine with a Gracious Lord who holds me in His hand.


"We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to
interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has been spoken." 

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Take me to the river and let me see again.

I tried to lay down and go to sleep, but I could hear. More specifically, I could hear the RVs out on the Quad practicing. A thousand images rushed to my head, and I knew sleep was a long way off.
I've really wanted to write about everything, this chapter in the Story, but I can't gather my thoughts long enough to sort them out. I have been given many things to treasure and many things that are challenges. I'm finding that there are an abundance of things to be (or not be) resolved. Perhaps resolved is a poor word choice; rather, there are an abundance of things I need to lay before God.
I was reading Philippians and the latter part of 2:12 caught my eye: "...continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling." Refinement is constant. As with any relationship, we must constantly examine ourselves. In a relationship with Christ, we must consistently check our own desires and thoughts and submit them to the authority of Christ. We must humbly come to God and allow Him to do verse 13: "For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose." 
Despite the great sadness and longing that has come about, there is a Good Purpose. The Story has an eventual ending, and it is one that puts all happy endings to shame. In the meantime, we must work. We must deny ourselves and come to Him in humility. I also believe it is okay to struggle; after all, you must work out your salvation. 
In spite of this weary world, I urge you to take heart, fellow traveler, for there is a Purpose, and it is Good.